sorry
i hate not feeling pretty enough, i hate not feeling skinny enough, i hate how pathetic ive been feeling and i hate how i can never tell anyone how im truly feeling. and oh i really hate that im not enough. for once in my life i have an extraordinary boyfriend whos beyond amazing and loves me to the full capacity in his heart yet i dont treat him the way i know in my heart i can. i hate the fact that im fucking scarred by ex so afraid to truly fall and give myself to someone. i have this wall that NEEDS to be broken. and im sorry to my boyfriend that i am fifty shades of fucked up. yes like christian grey. exactly like him. and the self esteem issues im having latley. i blame the media networks for fucking up society’s view on the perfect body and perfect face. and im tired of lying behind these smiles of mine and there is no one i can express my self too because everybody either says your skinny shut up youre gorgeous shut up or why are you upset you have a boyfriend and a license.. yeah like that makes the world go round
- teacher: just do your homework
- doctor: just eat healthy
- mum: just clean your room
- opposite sex: just look gorgeous
- friends: just be socially active
- life: just be perfect
- me: it's not that fucking easy dude
